10 things Olivia does not understand


1. why do girls come to the gym in full on club makeup.  here i am ready to teach class and all these girls are working the cardio room with mac eyeshadow glistening down their cheeks. wtf?

2.  why people ask the dumbest things in class like, “when’s the final?”  “how much is it worth?” “when are your office hours?”  check the syllabus you stupid idiot.

3.  why is it that whenever I’m shopping for something and i don’t need assistance, 5 associates swarm me and ask me if they can help.  the one day i go in and have a question about something i’m looking for, the store is empty.

4. bigotry, intolerance, & prejudice.  otherwise known as, christianity.

5. when people wear sunglasses inside.  take off your shades rock star, i want talk to YOU not the plastic covering your face.

6.  why does my voice go up when i run into someone i haven’t seen in a long time?  i’m not even excited to see you.  i probably don’t even like you.  why do i sound so excited?

7. when people come into work and see something on the menu and go, “so can i get this, but without this this and this…and can you add this and that…and then add extra that?” it’s like oooooh. okay.  so you’re asking me if you can order something that’s pretty much not even on the menu because you just made it up yourself and then expect me to translate this the cook who barely speaks english to begin with.  EXCELLENT.

8. why is it that whenever i buy something the cashier bundles up my receipt, change, and bills all in one stack and chucks it at me then yells “NEXT” while i’m still trying to neatly separate my cash from my coins and put my receipt in my wallet because they failed to do so and then look at me like i’m taking up their precious time.

9. why guys wear wife beaters (and nothing else) in public.  no one wants to see your hairy armpits or your shiny muscles.  put a real shirt on.

10. why people make facebook albums of them sitting BY THEMSELVES on photo booth making the most ridiculous faces.  or when people get together with their friends and post 50 pictures from photo booth just because they were bored. it’s like, pick 3  of those pictures you took and call it a day.  you don’t need to to tag 50 photos that all look the same and clog up my newsfeed.  plus you probably look stupid in them anyways.

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